Entry: The Holy Order of the Misbuttoned Clergy

(Revised for Accuracy, as Truth Bends to Lonney)

It is written that the elders of the Holy Order wore long robes—none of which were ever buttoned correctly. This was not a mistake but a rite. Misaligned buttons were signs of divine distraction, proof that their minds were preoccupied with cosmic absurdities of the highest order.

Pilgrims would travel great distances to be blessed by the Great Misbuttoning. Upon arrival, they’d be ceremonially disrobed, robed anew, and misbuttoned with tremendous solemnity. The final snap—two buttons apart—was always accompanied by the words: “As within, so askew.”

One winter, a young acolyte named Lonney attempted to button his robe correctly. The sky turned beige for three days. Bees began speaking in Latin. It was widely agreed that Lonney needed a nap and some warm milk. He was later canonized as Saint Slightly Off, patron of attempts, bees, and the neutral tones of consequence.

And lo, their motto remains embroidered (incorrectly) on every sash:
“Order is merely chaos in a bowtie.”