PA – 1 – Margaret Thatcher

In 30 years, planetarion.com will be played with hand gestures and fully voice activated. A voice will call out at hh:00:20 (after tick has been processed): “forty thousand, three hundred twenty six INCOMING HOSTILES”, with the capitalized letters read / red with full effect. Everybody will pick the Morgan Freeman voice probably, but Margaret Thatcher’s a good second. DEATH from Terry Pratchett’s the de-facto voice, if you don’t pick one.

“Inc scan please on all hostile coordinates”, I’ll say.

“Completed inc scan’s on four coordinates, with two failed. Say would you like to let HC know to lower the taxes?”

“No, wait what? How many incoming waves, Marge?”

“3 waves, Sven. How would you like me to proceed? About the taxes?”

“Tag shiptypes on ally def page for the inc scanned coords, estimate and tag ship types based on eta including possible fakes for the remaining coords. Set all calcs, consider all base eta ships in calc for unscannable coords. What’s the ally tax rate set at?”

“Done, Sven. At 5%”

“Thanks, Marge. Have I forgotten anything, lady?”

“Two unused fleet slots; capacity to send one real def and one fake def in-ally eta 7 and 8 with no requests in-gal, proceed Sven?”

“Yes and set home base to flee for now. Write in-game mail with capitalised letters to all attackers to see you next tuesday, Taiwan has fallen, USA proud boys have their hands on at least 6 nuclear icbms and China’s importing record numbers of yoghurt. And Rob, they need Rob in their life.”

“2 fleets set, home base set to flee, mails written. What about the taxes?”

“You drive me nuts about your taxes. Oh, and change the calcs where def fleets are sent, and let the bastards know in colourful language if original calcs were not set. I don’t want you to waste cpu cycles over it. I know you keep going on and on about lower taxes Marge, so get me another voice for now.”

“D O N E, S V E N.”