Book of Rob

The Book of Rob is in process of being written by the clergy…

Rob impregnated the void and created the universe.

Sven was found by Rob as a child and breastfed by him.

Growing up he was provided with other children to strangle and then eat.

From there Sven went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. “WE DC BETTER THAN YOU!” they said. “Get out of here!”  He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord Rob. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys.

Rob taught Sven to DC.

Forced love is the only worthwhile love. How can it be love if it’s not garnished with suffering?

Inquisitor Johnny

As a Leader; it is your job to positively and constructively motivate your team to success!

As a Leader; Be the first one in; the last one out; and be the one that can get all the answers to any question!

Lead by example.  What you expect from others you must be doing yourself!

ROB

An extract of The Gospel According to MeThOdMaN, chapter 16

And it happened one day that Rob saw the sufferings of the downtrodden. Sayeth Rob “Come, bask in my glory so that thou shalt know happiness”. But amongst the group was a heathen, who refused to love Rob [Commentary: Many believe the heathen to be Nitin (*spits*)].

This heathen approached the Church HQ where upon he commenced in debate with all of the great Robist leaders on matters of religion, philosophy and options for lubrication. After 16 hours of intense discussion, Brother Sven and Brother Johnny were not able to convince the heathen. Exhausted, the heathen departed for home and fell into a deep slumber.

That night, at the start of the 2nd DC watch, the heathen started to stir but Rob caused him to fall into an unusually deep slumber. When the heathen awoke, he noticed his worldly possessions had been destroyed and he spent the next 3 weeks gathering the salvage of what was once a glorious fleet but which had been reduced to nothingness.

Rob giveth and Rob taketh away.

An extract of The Gospel According to MeThOdMaN, chapter 1

It happened that there was a man [Commentary: Most understand the man to be MeThOdMaN, author of this work] of great intelligence and endowed with many roids. However, despite his great intelligence, he sorely misunderstood the greater workings of the universe. For this man followed in the path of RnGsus.

It happened that one day the man entered into the great lands of #Vengeance and behold! Before him were two shepherds. One of the shepherds approached the man and insisted that he dons the robes and becomes a Robist [Commentary: Robist being the adjective for one who follows in the teachings of Rob]. Now the man had followed in the steps of RNGsus for many years and he was stubborn in his heart.

Eventually, the man’s heart softened and mind opened. He saw the true wonders of Rob and finally renounced the clutches of RNGsus. He approached the shepherds saying “I am ready”. The shepherds took great delight in this and made a great commotion involving many instruments. The man gazed upon the shephers and behold! He noticed that one was NOT a shepherd but a priest. The priest called upon the name of his Lord and covered the man with his “blessings” [Commentary: Just like the priest covered the man with his “blessings“, so too Rob covers the world with his blessings].

The man then arose and joy! He accepted Rob into his life and he believed fully in the goodness of Rob. From that day forth, the man’s asteroid numbers swelled to great numbers and he assisted in spreading the word of Rob to all unsuspecting passers by.